Bye

I laugh as we talk and the tinkling voice makes you smile, that doesn’t go unnoticed by. I know how much you love it when I laugh that way, wholeheartedly, so much so that my voice tinkles. I tell you that my time is up and I have to go. And you just say ‘okay go’. I want you to stop me, to say don’t go or ask me to wait because that’s what I want, I want you to miss me and I know that you do but yet you just say okay go. I wordlessly clamour for your attention, I sigh as I realize that it has now become my addiction. Your eyes gaze deep into mine and you give me that playful smile and you say go. Yet you just sit there and listen as I try to push my limit and stay with you a little longer. You don’t ask me why I haven’t gone yet even though I’ve announced a numerous times that I  need to go. I blush as I realise that you know how much I want to stay. Although I know somewhere in my heart that even you want me to stay too, you just don’t say it out loud and I crave for you to. And each time I have to leave, I’d ask you to say bye, to give regards, to tell me that you’d miss me the time I’ll be gone but you never do that. Instead I say it all, from your side as well as mine. I tell you to take care, I tell you how much I’d miss you each moment we don’t spend together and I tell you bye. And just before I leave, I ask you to utter a bye, just once but you don’t. You just say okay go. It would irritate me to not end but you’d just laugh it off, that playful look in your eyes and all my irritation would vaporise. You always knew how to use that look in your eyes to your advantage, you knew how easily I melted with that look. And time flies by, the world has revolved for a good while around the sun, the seasons changed, and yet its the same. Each time we have to depart, I’m the one who says bye and you’re always the one to say okay go. But one day, its not the same, there is adrenaline in my veins, heart beating overtime, blood gushing wayward through my vessels in a rush and all of these would have been the good kind had they not been accompanied by the ache in my heart, throbbing pain in my head, with flare of my nose and the worst, tears in my eyes. I’m so angry, so so angry, the kind of anger where it gets even difficult for you to breath. So angry that I lose my senses and this time we depart, I don’t say a bye, I tell you okay go but there’s tears in my bloodshot eyes and your eyes do not have their usual gleam as they whisper to me a quick ‘bye’. Little do I know that you dash out, more anger in your body than mine, anger at yourself that you made me angry, and you lose your senses in a way far worse than mine. So much so that this time you really meant your farewell when you whispered me that bye. So much so that you really did go away when I asked you to. Now, you don’t breathe anymore and I, I wish I wouldn’t too but I guess this time, my time is not up yet. So, I breathe although it takes me a lot of effort to. And I don’t think my voice will ever tinkle that way and my laughs, oh my laughs will always remain hollow.

 

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