Happy Birthday!

Dear Best friend,

As I let my mind wander down the memory lane, I revisit almost every significant memory in our friendship all these days but one memory shines vivid. The first time we spoke. Or rather had an actual conversation. That november night. Yes, you’d argue that the first time we spoke was before that, but that was just a formal casual talk regarding something professional and we hadn’t even introduced ourselves. But I knew who you were and you knew who I was. And when I say that I’m very thankful that you took the initiative for an actual conversation, you’d never comprehend how much I mean it. Because, if not for you, I never would have initiated it. You know me, I hardly ever initiate friendships by myself. Always waiting for the other person to take it forward. But all I needed was a push, and from then on, our friendship flowed effortlessly.

 Our very first conversation was just so magical. It is always so exhilarating to discover a new person. To get to know them layer by layer. But the sad part is, the excitement dies down as days go by. We knew this. You even told me that after a couple of days, all this won’t be as exciting. That our similarities and disparities won’t be astonishing anymore. That it will all fade away as time flew by. I argued that it wouldn’t be the case for us. But did my argument stand to be correct? I’m afraid not so.

Time took its toll. And it would always disappoint me to know that we will never be as close as we were in the beginning of our friendship or all of it won’t be as overwhelming as it initially was. No matter, how much we try we will have to accept the fact that we both have changed a lot as clock ticked by. Perhaps, I have changed a lot, much more than you. So maybe when you blame me, that I’ve changed a lot and that our friendship can’t be the same because of me, then maybe I do take the blame. But I never meant to. And you should know that, I can never go back to the person I once was, when you first met me.

It was The Alchemist. Wasn’t it? Its just a rhetorical question. Of course I do remember that book. You asked me to read that book, the first time we spoke, because you said you loved it. I had tried reading that book before but gave up by page number three. But once you recommended it to me, I wanted to read it just for the sake of understanding what kind of book you liked. Just for the sake of knowing you. And I totally fell in love with it. That book is the kind of a life changing book and I was so happy that I met a person who’d suggest such books. You always had that charm. You still do. Of knowing what to talk to a person and when to. It always amazed me how you would be so charming effortlessly.

If I recollect all the sighs we captured in songs or the memories of movies or reminisce all pictures, I would never be able to fit them all in words. But those moments were one of a kind. And so many days later, here we are, still friends, though not that close. We talk but rarely, although we still have that spark of awesomeness in our conversations. And no matter what, how less we may talk or how much distance might seem between us, know that you will always be my best friend. And I know that we aren’t about all that sentimental stuff and the only reason I’ve written all this is because today is your Birthday. Or else you know, how lazy I am. But I meant each and every word. And you are and will always be a very important person to me. No matter where we stand in each others life as time goes by.

Happy Birthday Best Friend!

When it burns.

The smoke swirled in beautiful patterns around the book.  It travelled nonchalantly in the air weaving its own trail. Exactly how I imagine pollution to do its wonders. The air around me turned grayish, loosing its freshness. It hurt to look. Literally and metaphorically. My eyes stinged yet I remained close watching it burn. Because the flame that engulfed the corners was beautiful to look at. It pleased me how it slithered from one place to another. Ruining everything as it passed by.  My throat burned and my nose couldn’t tolerate the smell. My respiratory system rebounded into coughs and my eyes closed unconsciously. I wasn’t even able to open them. I stepped back for a while and regained some normalcy. As soon as I felt better, I went back. Closer to the book. Observing the ashes that had long formed as they piled into dust. Gazing into anonymity. Staring until my eyes couldn’t take it and tears started trailing through my eyes and my nose and throat burned like hell. I had to get away. I could no longer watch it burn. I had to walk away and leave it.

But I really did wanted to watch it burn completely. Until every inch of it turned to ashes. I wanted to watch it all turn to nothingness, like it never even existed at all.

——

Sometimes, you need to burn the book and move on. No matter how painful it is. 

I have been so MIA on this blog. I’m trying my best to get back to it. To this blogging thing. Because, there’s some weird magic here at WordPress that makes you happy in a way nothing else can. I call it WordPress happy. It is the happy feeling I get when I read an awesome post on WordPress. And then sometimes, when I feel sudden elation at some times in life, I call that happy feeling WordPress happy too. What do you think of it? 😀

A moment of Epiphany

Sometimes

 we’ll never be able to decipher

the meaning of somethings in life

they always seem strange

 when we think about them

and we keep on thinking about them

but we never get it

But someday when we are wallowing

in our abyss

in dark times

there is a sudden flash of  memory in front of our eyes

and we realise that a certain thing might have happened

 for this particular reason

and

in that moment

knowing the reason

will be everything

~ a.m.

Melancholy

Whenever I think of him,

I think of his soul.

The way he thought , it was like he was from some other dimension.

Like a very very old soul that has been long observing the world and smiling.

Smiling at the foolishness of humans.

His eyes were so kind. As if he knew all the hurt you’ve gone through

And the way he answered your questions. It was mind boggling

You always got the answer you deserved

I can never understand, how a teenager could have been so mellow

All I hoped that the world wouldn’t crush such a beautiful soul.